We are now “those people.”
My kids come from a broken home. They are statistically more
likely to end up living in poverty, to become drop-outs, to get on drugs, to
become serial killers…you get the idea.
I am a “single mother.” This is something I never thought I
would be. I used to think houses with single mothers were where kids went to
smoke pot and drink.
I am also, get ready for it, a “working mother.” This is
also something I also never thought I would be. When I was a stay-at-home mom
in my custom home, I judged working moms. I had a lot to learn.
Well, I’ve learned a lot in the three years since I became a
reluctant single mother.
First, the only thing broken about my kids’ home is the
handle on the dishwasher. Sure, their grades dropped a little but they still
seem to be attending school regularly. They don’t seem to be doing drugs and
have not been arrested. The fact that they still live with me willingly and
have not gone to the crazy house tells me I’m doing something right.
And I am the same mother as a single mother that I was
before. I am also the same mother as a working mother. Except, and I’ve
surprised even myself, I think I’m a little bit of a better mom. I don’t have
time to hover any more. If my kids make it to school with lunch and no teachers
call me during the day, I am doing well. I don’t have their teachers memorized
and I no longer check papers obsessively. They do their own laundry. I still do
the cooking because they would starve if they couldn't rip open something to eat in a package. But all in all, they have
learned to become responsible for themselves. This is something I tried
unsuccessfully to teach them for years. Or maybe I was successful. Maybe when I
had to go back to work, their training kicked in.
Whatever has happened, I don’t think being children from a
single mother automatically consigns you to a terrible life regardless of the
statistics. People are more than statistics. I am more than statistic and
probably defy them in multiple ways. I decided we were going to be the same
people we were before the divorce, end of story. And while it’s been tough, it
wasn’t impossible. Power to the single mothers! You have more than you realize.
